deeper thinking // week three
- Natalie Owens
- Nov 16, 2017
- 3 min read
"It is at the end of your life and you are up on stage being presented with a major award. What award is it, and what have you won it for?"
An award is something good, right? Well all my family and friends can vouch for this one, I suck at cooking. I mean, horrible. I would rather starve for days, run a marathon, pet a snake, even stay in the woods all night in the dark than cook.. I am sure one day I will regret never being in the kitchen as a kid but not today.
One thing I cannot do is cook. So I would get presented with the.. "Slow Cooker" award. Here would be a few reasons I was chosen for this award..
Burning Mac n Cheese. I was younger and my best friend Adrianne was over. We were melting crayons down with this new thing I had gotten for Christmas. We decided to make some mac n chz because we were hungry. Well we boiled the noodles, drained the water, and then put the stove on simmer.. For whatever reason, don't ask me. We went back to melting crayons down. About an hour later we remembered the food.. finished it and went to eat it. Let me tell ya, that was the most mushy and gross tasting stuff I've ever ate. Still proud of that one.
Almost catching the microwave on fire. I'm almost certain everyone has done this in their life. But not at your boyfriends parents when they are out of town. I know, sorry Jim and Diana.. I almost burnt the house down. Anyways, I was trying to surprise my boyfriend with breakfast when he got back from hunting. I was gong to make some hash browns but they were frozen together and I needed them to unthaw a bit so I could fry them. I put the bag in the microwave to defrost them and not even 2 seconds in being in there.. BOOM! Loud noise, some smoke, and a spark. fml. I hurried up, got them out, cleaned the little mess up, and realized I forgot to take the twist tie off.. Ya know, the one that is metal with a plastic coating over it.. Yeah, go me. No worries, everything was fine, the microwave still works, the hash browns were not harmed. I also didn't cook breakfast that morning. Jim, Diana.. I hope you guys don't hate me lolz.
Microwave.. again. I was defrosting some enchiladas my grandparents froze for me. My mom told me to defrost them for a few minutes then heat them up regularly.. I did EXACTLY what she said.. Defrost for 2 minutes, flipped them and another 2 minutes. Then I put the bag back in the microwave for 2 minutes to heat it up, still cold. Put it in for another 2 and the next thing I know the enchiladas are coming out of the bag and the bag is melting. So famous cook here, I run to my mom and ask her what to do. She just laughs at me because she knew exactly what I did but figured I would put them on a plate after defrosting them..
And the greatest, actually this is where my award name comes in play.. "Slow Cooker" So I was younger and my mom told me to go fix something for dinner. Often my punishment if I was getting on my moms nerves that day was to cook dinner. I hated when mom told me I had to cook because I wasn't listening. Dug through the cabinets and found this box. "Also great for slow cookers!" exact words on the box. I grabbed it and ran into the living room and told mom I had finally found something I could cook. lolz, so a slow cooker is not a person but in other terms a "crock pot" My family has not let me live this one down.
So if I were to be awarded an award it would be for how much of a terrible cook I am. Sorry future hubs.. Brandon, in this case you already know I kinda suck at cooking. Maybe for 2018 a New Years Resolution will to be "learn how to cook at the age of 19" Ehh, we will see. Don't ask me to cook for ya, I will laugh and walk away slowly.. Bahahaha.. *insert burning food smell*
Let me hear all the great cooking stories. I know I'm not the only one. Comments are at the bottom of the page! Happy Thursday, and Happy deeper thinking!
the girl that cannot cook
-nat
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